By Angie Winter – Case Manager from Anglicare’s Housing and Homelessness services
This article was inspired after seeing my coordinator assist one of our clients. The client was a single dad raising five children, who was moving into permanent housing after living in transitional housing. On this occasion, the father was taking three of his children fishing. One perched on the hip, hands full with bucket and fishing gear, and two more excitedly following. Quite a juggling act, but wonderful to see.
This article is to celebrate single fathers, predominantly those who experience homelessness. Their struggles, sacrifices and achievements, no matter how small, ensure better outcomes for their children.
Whatever your situation, raising a child alone can be incredibly challenging. It is tough being the only one setting boundaries. It takes patience and enduring commitment to give children a stable upbringing when faced with adversity.
Being homeless, or at risk of homelessness, brings an entirely different set of issues faced by single fathers. Single fathers who have experienced homelessness are especially underestimated and underrepresented.
Inadequate literature about homeless fathers, the psychological impacts, the challenges they face, and how they can best respond to their needs is insufficient. For these fathers, the despair of not being able to provide a safe, stable home life for their children can be devastating. Despite all the struggles, single fathers still want to experience the fulfilment of fatherhood, imparting values and wisdom to their children.
While the recognition of the importance of fatherhood and their involvement in caring for their children have developed over the years, initiatives such as parenting programs are generally geared towards women. The range of issues impacting single fathers, while unintended by these parenting programs, are not being adequately explored to address these distinctive differences.
One particular area of concern is the abysmally inadequate accommodation options for fathers who have children in their care. Men’s shelters are not geared towards accommodating homeless men with active parenting roles. As a consequence, fathers who present as homeless are not fully recognised as the central role in their children’s lives, which includes the emotional needs.
Understanding and overcoming the many emotional and practical challenges single dads face are the same faced by single mothers. However, single dads are not looking to be mothers. They are fathers, and the dynamic is very different.
For any one parent family, the difficulty is accepting that you cannot always contend with two-parent families. For single fathers, this may feel particularly isolating at times. While services and society identify a need for homeless fathers to access and engage in parenting programs, fathers must also be willing to ask for help. Fathers are often viewed as the provider and the protector. Therefore, asking for help in tough times can be extremely difficult.
While parenthood can bring the greatest of rewards, it can also be stressful and demanding, even when there is a roof over the head and food on the table.
It is important for services and society to support and recognise the life skills that fathers impart to their children. In doing so, single fathers will be given a boost to their self-esteem and strength of character.
So to all single dads out there, and especially those doing it tough, your determination and courage is a source of heartfelt inspiration.
